I know that Facebook is having major issues right now, but perhaps they could distract the public and satisfy their Black customers by adding these very needed emoji reactions.
I’d guess that at least half of all status updates on Facebook make Black folks comment that they will pray, or are sending prayers. If someone dies, we pray. If someone is born, we pray. If someone got a new job, lost a job, or is starting a new job, we pray. If you are getting married or divorced, we are gonna pray. If you are sick, we are going to pray and if you had a miraculous recovery, we are going to pray. The #1 reaction emoji Black folks need is praying hands–no doubt.
Bro-hug or Wakanda cross
The thumbs up, raise the roof and clapping hands don’t quite cut it. Black folks don’t just want to say, “Congratulations!”; we want to say “That’s what’s up Brotha” or “I see you, Sista. Keep doing what you do.” We invented all this affirming body language, so are always ahead of the curve. Once it becomes mainstream, we are done with it. Thumbs-up are played out, so 1970s and corny.
That Sista at the rally; that Brotha writing about the discrimination he is facing at work; the woman who always post righteous articles all deserve a “Fight the Power” emoji.
No One Cares
The person who lets us know every move of their day needs to know that folks don’t care so they can stop embarrassing themselves (and annoying us).
Girl, Bye and Boy, Bye or Hell to the Naw
Some folks post opinions that aren’t even deserving of a response; or food that looks gross and that they should be embarrassed to post.
Don’t you sometimes just wish that you could say to those folks who need to drop hints in every post about how “rich” they are, “we got it, you got that bling, Boo.” We ain’t hatin’ at all but why does EVERY picture need be taken in front of their luxury car, inside the hot tub of their 5-star resort, or wearing an obviously designer brand piece of clothing? They make Puff Daddy look humble.
Some people simply need to know that some things need to be kept private. I have literally read about gross happenings in the bathroom to nasty happenings in the bedroom. ENOUGH!
You Aint Dat Sick
Why do our folks have to tell us how sick they are? They let us know that they are about to go to the hospital or are at the hospital, or have the worst migraine headache ever in life, in the middle of a severe asthma attack, and so on? If you are that damn sick, how in the hell are you on your computer typing about it? Hell, if I had bad cramps, I don’t want to be on the computer, much less if I was 3 seconds off death. I never understood these posts (but of course, we all feel obligated to tell the person to feel better or that we will be praying – see entry #1, which is maybe the point).
Your Cliffhanger Makes Me Want to Push You Off a Cliff
Perhaps they think they are being provocative, but I don’t know one person who appreciates those posts that are dramatic, but tell you nothing. “Never thought it would happen to me, ”Time will tell,” “Please pray. Please.” These posts leave you at best curious and at worst worried and anxious—but always slightly annoyed.
Black grandmas have been telling us for years to keep family business in the house. “Don’t’ be telling folks all yo’ business. Hush up, chile.” Some folks need to take heed. I really can’t stand the folks who use Facebook to air their dirty laundry. I know we all get upset; but I’ma need you to curse out that chick you are mad with to her face or in a private message. If you and yo man have issues….call your best friend or call him.. Just stop airing the drama on FB. I get embarrassed for folks. It’s hard to look at some guys when I run into them because their woman verbally beat them like Rocky Balboa on social media.
Hello, Facebook? Are you guys listening?